Gendered communication
Do men and women communicate differently? Do men and women have trouble understanding each other?
I'm not sure about in your culture, but in Western culture, it can definitely feel like communication is gendered - that men and women speak (and hear) differently.
Keep reading to get one women's view on what causes gendered communication.
Women are emotional and evocative by nature. They have different goals when they communication. When they are telling their partner about their day, or about a situation that has happened, they are simply asking them to listen. Women need to be heard, supported, and understood. They need their male partners to hear them out and try to understand where they are coming from. The act of being able to get something off their chest, and talk it out, is often all women need to feel better.
Men are typically more analytical and pragmatic. By this I mean, they assume if a woman is telling them something, she is asking them to fix it. When their partner starts to tell them about a person or situation that is frustrating them, their mind immediately starts to come up with questions, possibilities and solutions to a problem that may not actually exist. They are problem and solution oriented, and it does not automatically occur to them that all that may be required of them is to listen and be a sounding board for their partner.
This is not just a sweeping generalization. When one half of the male-female partnership comes to understand how the other thinks, it is like a light bulb has been switched on. When couples learn to ask for what they need, or ask their partner what they need from them in an interaction, you can literally see the body language relax. For a woman, it is good practice to preface conversations with, “I just need you to listen to me. I just need you to hear me out. I don’t need you to fix anything, and I don’t need anything else from you.”
The same works for men, when they are hoping for is some practical advice, and they feel like all they get is someone who sits and listens, but offers little feedback or solutions in return. Men need to practice telling their partner what they need. That they have a problem and that they really want to run something by them and get their advice. That there are no one else they trust like them, or feel comfortable talking about this with. Now your partner is more alert, aware, and engaged, as you need them to be.
With this newfound understanding of how each of you communicates and operates, as well as what your ultimate communication goals are, you will have more productive, and more pleasant interactions. You will be able to meet each other’s needs and support each other in a way that you never have been able to before.
Look at the 8 phrases, idioms and words highlighted in red and try and understand their meaning. You can use a dictionary but make sure you understand the words, phrases and idioms in the context of the text.
When you are ready match the words, phrases and idioms with their meanings in the sheet below.
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